Satisfied: Song Story

I was an escape addict. Even though my life was good and I knew about the love of God, I still craved a refuge of pretence.

Since I was very young, I have been taught to seek after God with all my heart, to trust in Jesus and to follow Him. I genuinely desired to serve God but found myself continually falling short of His glorious standard of perfection. I failed to truly understand His love for me and the redemption from my sin that He had offered me through Christ Jesus. I would cry out to God, telling Him that I did not love Him as I should but that I desired to want to love Him more than anything in life. And He honoured that request for His word says, 

"Seek the Lord while He may be found; call on Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake their ways and the unrighteous their thoughts. Let them turn to the Lord, and He will have mercy on them, and to our God, for He will freely pardon." Isaiah 55:6 NIV

Even though I never really rebelled against my parents or rejected my belief in God, I wasn't fully satisfied with Him. I pursued my craving for romance, escape and adventure through others ideas of what life should be. I read book after book, escaping my boring life. Eventually I gave up books and replaced them with movies. I would allow my reality to become pretence and I would live through the stories I read or watched. No matter how much I read books or watched movies I was never satisfied with them. Even if the story was excellent, the after taste was bitter because it represented a life I did not and probably would not have. It caused me to constantly crave what I did not have. I thought, "when I have a romantic relationship, then I will be truly happy", or "when I have a career and can work and make lots of money, then I will fully enjoy life", all the while knowing that the bible said, "in His presence is fullness of joy"(Psalm 16:11). I recognized this vicious cycle in me, a divided, lukewarm heart toward my Creator.  Many times I had tried to set up rules for myself to help me regulate my movie watching habits, but it was to no avail. Whenever I felt bored, or sad or annoyed with life, I would medicate with movies instead of surrendering to God. This saddened me, and out of my sorrow, I started to write this song on May 7, 2012.

As you may have read in my previous post about my song, "Finely Woven", my summer of 2013 was a jobless one. My frustration and extra time created room for God to really draw me closer to Himself. I was able to spend long hours just talking and listening to Him. He taught me more about His presence, that He was always with me and that I could trust in Jesus Christ to give the victory over the things that divided my devotion to Him. As I spent more time, escaping into His presence, I desired to escape less and less into movies. I was experiencing the complete joy of His presence and began to scorn my previous methods of escape. I rid myself of my beloved Netflix and gave up movies all together. It took time as I continually surrendered to God's work in my heart and allowed Him to transform my desires but soon I no longer wished to escape my life and fabricate fantasies of what my life could be. I became satisfied in Him and so became satisfied with life. Now, I do not spend hours pining after what I do not have. All that I wish to posses in greater measure is a deeper understanding of His love, and greater yearning to let others to know about the source of my ever-present joy and peace. I would agree with Paul when He says to the Philippians:

"Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with Him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with Himself depends on faith." Philippians 3:8-9 NLT 

"I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me." Philippians 3:12 NLT

I actually hesitated to share this song for a long time because I was uncomfortable with the arrangement, how my voice sounded and the fact that the ukulele wasn't the greatest musical accompaniment for this particular song. I know that God had told me to just share it, and I held back. I finally decided to record before I went to bed. I uploaded it and posted it on Facebook that night then removed it. The next morning I listened again and disliked how it sounded, but I reluctantly posted it knowing that God could use the message. So here it is.

Satisfied Explained

Verse 1
Oh fill up my soul
I have a thirst that is never satisfied
I will gratify
Gratify

Well I thirst, oh I thirst
So I drink, never full
I drink and almost drown
I drink and almost drown

This speaks of our thirst for God that is never quenched with things of this world. Though we may drink till we almost drown we are still not quenched. When talking to a Samaritan woman at a well Jesus said,

"If only you knew the gift God has for you and who I am, you would ask me, and I would give you living water."John 4:10 New Living Translation 

"People soon become thirsty again after drinking this water. But the water I give them takes away thirst altogether. It becomes a perpetual spring within them, giving them eternal life."John 4:13 NLT

Verse 2

We are scattered ash

Spirits wandering in vain pursuit of myth
We are broken inside
Broken
Our inheritance of death
Is our livelihood
We live in a pretense
Believing we’re alive

We pursue the myth that what the world offers will fulfil us. In Romans 1: 21 it says,

"Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn't worship Him as God or even give Him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. The result was that their minds became dark and confused."NLT

Because of our sinful nature, we are dead without the Spirit of God in us. In the book of Ezekiel, chapter 37, God gives the prophet Ezekiel a vision of a valley filled with the dry bones of human beings, and He shows this prophet that He is going to make these bones alive again by breathing His life into them.

"Speak to these bones and say, 'Dry bones, listen to the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Look! I am going to breathe into you and make you live again.'"NLT

This is an analogy of what God does for us when we believe in Jesus. It says in Ephesians 2:4-5

"But God is so rich in mercy, and He loved us so very much, that even while we were dead because of our sins, He gave us life when He raised Christ from the dead."NLT 

Pre-Chorus
But we were, oh we were in chains
Lost, but in our broken state believing captivating lies
A light has dawned

The prophet Isaiah prophesied about Jesus Christ, saying that He was the light that would come to humans. Then John talks about how Jesus is the life that gives light to everyone. Darkness represents sin and it's reward of death, and light represents righteousness and it's reward of the life that is only found in Christ.

"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned." Isaiah 9:2 New International Version

"Life itself was in Him [Jesus], and this life gives light to everyone. The light shines through the darkness and the darkness can never extinguish it." John 1:4-5 NLT 

Chorus
Arise, Arise
For we were meant to be the heirs of Christ
Arise, Arise
For we were meant to be the heirs of Christ

"Arise" refers back to the passage from Ezekiel and to the verse in John 11:25-26 where Jesus says,

"I am the resurrection  and the life. Those who believe in me, even thought they die like everyone else, will live again. They are given eternal life for believing in Me and will never perish." NLT

 Heirs of Christ refers to our adoption into God's family when we believe in Christ.

"The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory." Romans 8:17 NIV

Bridge
We were born with vacancy inside
A capacity for love, love

 In 1 John 4:8 it says that God is love. This line describes how we were born to know our Creator God. When we believe in Jesus Christ, His spirit dwells in us and renews us every day.

"For everything comes from Him; everything exists by His power and is intended for His glory. To Him be glory evermore. Amen." Romans 11:36 NLT